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The Prosecution: One Friend's Perspective

Sometimes I'm recorded while I’m eating. I’ll see myself on her social media – it feels like a sudden shock.

A close companion of 10 years, Marielle, labels herself the “content queen”. It’s fun for a bit, but it weighs on our friendship.

She is an extrovert, she feels the need to record everything constantly. During meals out, her motto is, “The camera eats first,” and snaps pictures with bright lighting, which induces embarrassment. I don’t like it when strangers see her performing for the camera – I get secondhand embarrassment. It also frustrates me because meals lose their warmth.

She isn’t exactly an online personality yet, but she is aspiring to become one. She makes video blogs about living in our city, her daily routine, and her work as a stylist. Her content is good, credit where it's due, but I prefer not to be dragged into it. Sometimes I'm captured while I’m eating, or simply tagging along. I’ll see myself on her feed later, and it comes like a jumpscare: I might be no makeup on, an awkward face or photographed while eating. It’s uncomfortable.

Marielle also anticipates that I will to record her at inconvenient times. Sometimes I'm in conversation to someone else, or we’ll just be hanging out in the street. The dynamic feels like our friendship has turned into me serving as her unpaid videographer. She could easily hire someone if she wanted professional shots. When I brought up my discomfort about the situation, she brushed it off. I've been invited to a couple of brand events, which was nice, but that doesn't compensate for all the energy I spend assisting her create material.

I appreciate that she has helped me with my career in design, but I don’t want our friendship to become merely a tally of favours. I don’t feel she's insincere or dishonest, but sometimes I feel that if recording starts, we will begin acting in a way that makes us look good for her vlog.

She will say, “Alright, smile for the camera!” and record me smiling with someone. It feels forced. It's crucial her to recognize that our 10-year friendship still has boundaries. I love being with her, but I also desire to enjoy it without being filmed, edited, or shared for an viewers. I am not a prop for her online persona.

The Defence: Marielle

I want my friend to see that the content we produce together can get us an opportunity.

I love shooting content. It’s not just a hobby; it's integral to who I am. Producing content and sharing my life online enables me to show my personality and connect with people in novel forms.

I don’t see myself as a professional creator yet, but it’s smart to generate income from your interests. I admire people on social platforms who execute that aesthetic of informal, self-made film-making.

Content creation is my interpretation of living actively: observing the nuances, sharing them with an audience that values the craft behind it. It's never my aim to make my friend uneasy. Bringing her to industry events was my way of sharing opportunities, giving her a opportunity to experience exclusive moments that could help her professional path too. That’s not blackmail, it's simply being pragmatic.

I’d still take her to such functions even if she refused to assist me, but I desire her to see the benefits the content we create together can get us: a foot in the door. I know not all people enjoys being on camera, but sometimes spontaneity is what makes material authentic. Appearing on video occasionally is an inherent aspect of being my companion. I'd remove anything she asked, but she has never asked yet.

I don’t expect anybody to be my personal filmmaker, but friends support one another in small ways. I thought recording a short video now and then would be fun for Beth. Creativity flourishes in partnership, and having my friend around makes projects lively and enjoyable. I don't compel her to participate in anything, and I would never intentionally humiliate her. But filming together occasionally is part of how I record our shared experiences.

I value Beth’s friendship deeply and want to avoid making videos to drive a wedge between us. I am ready to compromise: like asking before recording, and steering clear of angles that might make her self-conscious.

This isn’t about power, it’s about sharing my world while still considering hers. Clearly making content is not a substitute for genuine friendship: it’s just part of how I live my life and I want her to be included in a way that’s enjoyable for each of us.

The Jury: Public Sentiment

Should Marielle stop filming herself and Beth when they are socializing?

Nothing is more uncomfortable than having a friend point a camera at you. I understand that it’s Marielle’s job, but I wouldn't ask friends come to my workplace. Maybe she can find influencer friends to create content with. With the uncertain future of AI, personal relationships are the only thing we have – cherish them!
A respondent, 25

If you’re doing something as a career, it's unfair to expect your friends for assistance repeatedly, even if they have done it before. If Marielle loves creating, that doesn’t mean everyone around her is willing material. She needs to honor her friend's privacy.
Another reader, 26

Marielle might love producing videos and showing off her life online, but it isn't for everyone. It’s nice she has helped Beth’s career, but she must to listen to what her friend desires.
A commenter, 27

It sounds like you value each other, so hold on to that and make sure it’s the priority in your relationship. Create some real memories, where genuine feelings are preserved, not online archives. In fact, public figures who seem to share their worlds actually have more secrecy than it appears.
One opinion, 53

Marielle appears to be not fully engaged nor genuine when they're together – she’s working. Both seem confused as to what’s reasonable. The solution lies not in trying to alter one another, but in each establishing clear boundaries around what is comfortable to them and seeing if there is an mutually agreeable compromise.
Barbara, 71

Now You Be the Judge

In an online poll: has she been over-exposing their bond?